[Day 80] A Single Step Back to Xuzhou
March · *The Woman Beneath the Moonlight* | about 3 min read

After Liu Bei (劉備)’s twenty thousand foot soldiers stepped out through the gate of Xudu (許都), they traveled some days along the road and arrived again before the old walls of Xuzhou (徐州).
The walls of Xuzhou held a familiar grain. The texture of old days, when Liu Bei had served as Governor (徐州牧), was inscribed deep into every stone. Guan Yu (關羽) pointed to one corner of the wall and spoke quietly. “Elder brother. That corner stood beside the seat where we sat beneath the banner of Chen Deng (陳登) in the old days.” Liu Bei nodded.
Che Zhou (車冑) had been placed as the new Governor of Xuzhou by Cao Cao’s (曹操) command. He came out before the gate to receive Liu Bei. “Lord Liu. Bear today’s command, and hold this walled city together.” Liu Bei bowed his head low.
That night, Liu Bei called Guan Yu and Zhang Fei (張飛) to his side. He spoke quietly. “Younger brothers. Today’s Xuzhou cannot be folded back into Xudu. The grain of our leaving this wall in the old days and the grain of today’s return must be tied into one thread here.”
Guan Yu nodded. “Elder brother. Is today the seat from which the Girdle-Robe Edict (衣帶詔) begins to move in earnest within Xuzhou?” Liu Bei nodded deeply. “Yunchang. From today, let us set that movement in motion, quietly, grain by grain, within Xuzhou.”
The next morning, Che Zhou entered Liu Bei’s tent. He spoke quietly. “Lord Liu. By the command of Xudu, Your Lordship’s twenty thousand foot soldiers may not enter the walls of Xuzhou. Please encamp upon the plain outside the walls.”

Liu Bei bowed his head, his eyes sinking deep. “Governor Che. I shall follow the command of Xudu. The twenty thousand foot soldiers will encamp upon the plain outside the walls. Only, I and my two younger brothers wish to lodge briefly inside the walls at the old guesthouse (客館).” Che Zhou nodded.
Liu Bei stayed with his two younger brothers at the old guesthouse inside the walls. In its back room, the name of Chen Deng (陳登), once laid beneath the grain of old Liu Bei, remained as before. Liu Bei summoned Chen Deng quietly and transmitted (傳), in a low voice, the matter of the Girdle-Robe Edict.
Chen Deng knelt on two knees upon the ground. A low word slipped from his mouth. “Lord Liu. Today my path has been tied together upon this single line. From today, within Xuzhou, I shall be laid beneath Your Lordship’s grain.”
Outside the guesthouse, in the narrow alley, the first of Liu Bei’s couriers rode out toward a small village of Xiaopei to remind two old lieutenants of the garrison that a certain lord had returned to the country. The lord’s name was not written on any scroll the courier carried; it was spoken in a breath at the kitchen door of each old lieutenant’s house. A lord whose name moves along kitchen doors rather than upon scrolls is the kind of lord who walks the longest of all. The courier returned by midnight with the two old lieutenants’ nods unspoken, and Xuzhou, by morning, knew without being told that Liu Xuande’s name had come home.
Inside the guesthouse courtyard, after Chen Deng had gone, Zhang Fei stood by the well and drew up a bucket of water. He poured it over his hands and over the shaft of the Serpent Spear, not to clean but to bless. The water of Xuzhou was softer than the water of Xudu; he had carried the difference in his fingertips for some seasons without being able to name it. Tonight, standing by this well of the old guesthouse, he named it without speaking. Guan Yu came and stood beside him. The two men did not speak. A younger and an elder brother who have just been entrusted again with an old city often stand at a well in silence for a time the elder of them will never explain to anyone. Zhang Fei handed the bucket back to the well rope, and the rope descended quietly.
Far away, at Xudu, Xun Yu sat at a low table at a late hour and read a short report from a courier of the Xuzhou road. He did not pass the report to Cao Cao that night. He folded it and placed it inside a second envelope. Some reports are best read by a lord in the morning, when the air is even. Xun Yu walked to his sleeping chamber but did not sleep. A counselor who has just filed a report he did not hand to his lord in the same hour rarely sleeps the same as he did the night before.
The eightieth morning of Book 3 opened quietly before the old walls of Xuzhou. The three characters Banseoju (返徐州, the return to Xuzhou) were planted as a seed: the breath on which the familiar grain of an old wall, the encampment of twenty thousand on the plain, the back room of an old guesthouse, and Chen Deng’s two knees lay at one seat. The single step of Day 79’s Sulbukbo (術北步) had, this morning, been laid again upon the old stones of Xuzhou.
—

“✒️ A Word from the Commentator — Dr. Yeon Samheum
There is a morning on which a person’s single step stands again before an old wall. Every stone of that wall carries a grain of familiarity inscribed upon it; and today’s step is laid again upon that familiar stone. Upon your own morning today, is there perhaps a step laid again upon a grain of familiar old stone? Might you look, quietly, into the grain of that laying?
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